Tag Archive | travel

Bluntness and Honesty Outside of Our Family Unit and Home

Psalm Chapter 12 Verses 1 – 4

1 Help, Lord, for no one is faithful anymore;
those who are loyal have vanished from the human race.
2 Everyone lies to their neighbor;
they flatter with their lips
but harbor deception in their hearts.

3 May the Lord silence all flattering lips
and every boastful tongue—
4 those who say,
“By our tongues we will prevail;
our own lips will defend us—who is lord over us?”

I found an article on Facebook and wanted to share it with you.   I start off with my reaction and then you can click on the link underlined below to read the article…

2012-04-05 18.26.33

I liked reading the article but I have tried all of the suggested interventions for the last 10+ years as well as using apps on my son’s Iphone so he can review what to say, who it is appropriate to touch, etc.   So far, he’s 15 and we are STILL experiencing his ‘bluntness’.   I’ve become immune over the years to the stares we receive as a result of his bluntness and though I use each one as a ‘teachable moment’ if something else presents itself and I don’t immediately prompt him with the socially appropriate comments he will say whatever comes to mind.  In fact, even when I do prompt there are times when what he’s thinking slips our anyway.  Also, babysitters are pretty non existent – who do you know that enjoys having there flaws spoken about each time you see them? My son’s bluntness and honesty have been the downfall of many relationships – for him and our entire family.

Since I’m not always around and our extended family is prone to feeling embarrassed, as are other adults and teens;  there are many places our son doesn’t go.  Imagine us trying to get on an airplane or even through an airport.  It would be a nightmare unless he is asleep…..he didn’t talk clearly until 6 1/2 – 7 years old and we thank God he is verbal.  This blessing has come along with many new issues.

He is a social butterfly and would LOVE to have friends but what he says always and I mean ALWAYS ends what can be great friendships.  So, perhaps those ideas will work for others but we are pretty much stuck in a rut here.  I’m a certified preschool thru 3rd grade teacher and many days parenting my son when it comes to social awareness feels like the constant redirection I give to my children at school on a daily basis.

On the other hand, bluntness does run in our family.  His Dad and I are very blunt with what we say but being blunt doesn’t mean you have to be hurtful with your words.  Yes, the truth does hurt many times and a lot of times the things our children say are honest to a fault – not their fault but to our society who is okay with lying to make others feel good.  For all the problems we have with our son’s bluntness many days we feel that the problem is not his honesty but the fact that in order to survive in today’s society one feels that one must LEARN to LIE!

Our son LOVES reading and memorizing verses out of the Holy Bible and one such verse that is a part of our ‘Family Orders’ is :

Tell the truth At All Times ~ “Do things in such a way that everyone can see that you are trustworthy.” Romans chapter  12 Verse 17b.

God’s Word also states in James chapter 3 verses 5 thru 9:

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.

The Autism Notebook — 1/18

What do you think? Is your teen/child ‘honest to a fault’?   What are some comments your teen/child has made in public that have made you cringe inwardly or offer an apology to a stranger?  How about some of the comments that you wish you could say but politeness or being politically correct has stopped you?  How do you teach your teen/child when it’s okay to lie and when it’s okay to tell the truth?

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Free Food Allergy Guides from Kids with Food Allergies

I joined KFA earlier this year on Facebook and their website has become an invaluable resource for me.  There are plenty of people to talk to who are going through many of the same issues we deal with when it comes to eating a special diet.  Below I have posted a link that provides you with some of their free food allergy guides.  You don’t have to join to become a part of the KFA (Kids with Food Allergies) family but if you chose to join, the price is very reasonable and the support you will receive is invaluable.  God Bless!!

Free Food Allergy Guides.

Learning to Ride a Two Wheel Bike Part 2

What an experience Lose the Training Wheels Bike Camp was for our family!  The staff and volunteers were so caring, compassionate and patient.  I know that my son is not always the easiest person to teach; but they gave him all the attention, time and compassion he needed.  In fact, my son had bonded so well with some of the staff and volunteers that on Friday, once he got into our car, he let me know how upset he was that he will never see some of them again.  

By Thursday morning, my son was riding his bike with the hands on help of two of the trainers.  They held him up as he pedaled and taught him how to use his brakes properly.  We were so excited for Friday to come, and for good reason.  On Friday, my son was riding his own bike!  He no longer needed the roller, the handle or someone running next to him.  He glowed with confidence and joy as he rode his own bike next to his trainer.

The joy we feel is palpable to those around us.  In fact, as I watched him ride around that parking lot, all I could do was cry and smile.  This has become a turning point for our son and our family.  As a parent of a child with special needs, I am sure you know the feeling.  Remember the first time your child did what the doctors said could never be done?  The best part about this experience is that my son has learned that though many things in life are hard; they are not impossible.  He now agrees wholeheartedly with me when I share with others all the things the doctors said he couldn’t do.  In fact, several times since he has learned how to ride a bike, he has been the one to share what God has done and continues to do with him daily.  My son was never supposed to walk, run, talk, become potty trained or eat independently.  Now, not only is he doing all of those things but he is also riding his own bike with no help from anyone!  

The independence and self-confidence that learning how to ride a two-wheeled bike has instilled in him is amazing and heart warming.  He was already making plans for all the places he was going as soon as he got home on Thursday night and Friday morning.  In fact, everyday since he has learned how to ride, he has had plans as to where he wants to go.  We have had to tell him over and over that he won’t be going anywhere on his bike without one of us.  At least, not yet!

Since that Friday, we have been riding daily either as a family or just my son and I.  His skill has been improving and we have been able to take him to places that we never imagined he could go.  Though taking him through the woods the first day after he learned how to ride was a disaster…LOL! Those trees kept getting in his way!  But, the great part of bike riding that day was seeing him persevere and never give up trying to make it through those woods on his bike.  We know that one day very soon, he will be trail riding with his father and I.

Lose The Training Wheels Bike Camp is a must for those of you who want your child to ride a two-wheeled bike independently.  After 12 years of fighting, crying, meltdowns, endless frustrations and being bullied by strangers; it took the staff just 4 days to teach him!  God is so good!!   

Thank you so much Darren and all the staff and volunteers from the North Brunswick Lose The Training Wheels Bike Camp.  You are a huge blessing to my family and we couldn’t have done this without you.  We praise God that we were introduced to this camp and we freely share the blessings we received by attending.

PLEASE comment if you have been to Lose The Training Wheels Bike Camp.  I would LOVE to hear your story.  Looking forward to chatting with you soon.  From my family to yours ~ we thank you all for your prayers.  God heard each and every one of them and blessed our son and family tremendously!

Learning to Ride a Two Wheel Bike Part 1

I’m not sure how your teen is with fine and gross motor skills but my son has always needed all the extra help he can get.  It took me 3 years to teach him how to pedal a bike…but, the balance part just wasn’t happening; no matter how hard we tried.  We have been riding tandem bikes at the beach for over 6 years now but as soon as it’s time for him to get on his own bike, he just couldn’t get it.  So, after all the tears, outbursts, meltdowns and drama, oh and broken bikes and training wheels;  we finally had to take a break from the entire bike riding adventure. 😦   In case you were wondering…the tears, outbursts and drama came not only from our son but also his Dad and I! LOL 😉

Earlier this year, I was sent an email from a group called For This One and they would be hosting a bike camp called LoseTheTrainingWheels.  ForThisOne states that:  

Lose The Training Wheels is a nonprofit tax-exempt charitable organization that is much more than just a bike-riding program. For many people with disabilities, it’s a seemingly impossible task that they can typically master in less than a week’s time through our program. Within days of learning to ride, many children begin exhibiting independent behaviors at home. This achievement, in turn, creates a gateway of opportunity, helping them gain assurance and self-reliance in many other aspects of their lives.

Hmmm, a group that can teach our son how to ride a bike in only 5 days??? Well, we were very skeptical, to say the very least.  But, we prayed on it and decided to sign up anyway.  

After receiving a scholarship to attend, my hubby and I eagerly talked to and encouraged our son regarding learning how to ride a bike in an easy and fun way.  Our son read all the handouts and by Monday of this week; he was eager and ready to go.  Now, bike camp is an hour and a half away and only lasts for 75 minutes, Monday through Friday.  Those in my life who don’t have a child with special needs in their life shared their disbelief that I would drive the distance daily just so my son can learn to ride a bike.  Why not teach him myself?  Who cares if he can ride a bike?  This isn’t really a necessity….blah, blah, blah!  The world of ‘normalcy’ that people who don’t live with a loved one with a disability live in colors their entire vision when it comes to looking at the world my family lives in.  It’s worth it to us!  I’d drive 3 hours a day for five days if it means at the end my son will accomplish a goal that will bring him life long enjoyment and fulfillment.  

So, today is the third day of camp and I can’t wait until Friday gets here!! Do you think he will finally get it?!?!????  We do!!  I’ll let you know the outcome soon!!  For now, just keep us in your thoughts and prayers as our son works hard to overcome a challenge that has been a part of his life for 10 years and counting.

Are You All About Saving Money Too???

IF you are all for saving money…like I am; then you really need to copy and paste the below address in your web browser.  You can also highlight the address and then right click on it.  Your computer will ask you if you want to go to this address.

This website has so many items to choose from that you will need to go back again and again!  Let me know how you make out below.  I can’t wait to hear all of your wonderful feedback.  Happy Shopping! 😉  

http://www.tripleclicks.com/11697313