Bluntness and Honesty Outside of Our Family Unit and Home

Psalm Chapter 12 Verses 1 – 4

1 Help, Lord, for no one is faithful anymore;
those who are loyal have vanished from the human race.
2 Everyone lies to their neighbor;
they flatter with their lips
but harbor deception in their hearts.

3 May the Lord silence all flattering lips
and every boastful tongue—
4 those who say,
“By our tongues we will prevail;
our own lips will defend us—who is lord over us?”

I found an article on Facebook and wanted to share it with you.   I start off with my reaction and then you can click on the link underlined below to read the article…

2012-04-05 18.26.33

I liked reading the article but I have tried all of the suggested interventions for the last 10+ years as well as using apps on my son’s Iphone so he can review what to say, who it is appropriate to touch, etc.   So far, he’s 15 and we are STILL experiencing his ‘bluntness’.   I’ve become immune over the years to the stares we receive as a result of his bluntness and though I use each one as a ‘teachable moment’ if something else presents itself and I don’t immediately prompt him with the socially appropriate comments he will say whatever comes to mind.  In fact, even when I do prompt there are times when what he’s thinking slips our anyway.  Also, babysitters are pretty non existent – who do you know that enjoys having there flaws spoken about each time you see them? My son’s bluntness and honesty have been the downfall of many relationships – for him and our entire family.

Since I’m not always around and our extended family is prone to feeling embarrassed, as are other adults and teens;  there are many places our son doesn’t go.  Imagine us trying to get on an airplane or even through an airport.  It would be a nightmare unless he is asleep…..he didn’t talk clearly until 6 1/2 – 7 years old and we thank God he is verbal.  This blessing has come along with many new issues.

He is a social butterfly and would LOVE to have friends but what he says always and I mean ALWAYS ends what can be great friendships.  So, perhaps those ideas will work for others but we are pretty much stuck in a rut here.  I’m a certified preschool thru 3rd grade teacher and many days parenting my son when it comes to social awareness feels like the constant redirection I give to my children at school on a daily basis.

On the other hand, bluntness does run in our family.  His Dad and I are very blunt with what we say but being blunt doesn’t mean you have to be hurtful with your words.  Yes, the truth does hurt many times and a lot of times the things our children say are honest to a fault – not their fault but to our society who is okay with lying to make others feel good.  For all the problems we have with our son’s bluntness many days we feel that the problem is not his honesty but the fact that in order to survive in today’s society one feels that one must LEARN to LIE!

Our son LOVES reading and memorizing verses out of the Holy Bible and one such verse that is a part of our ‘Family Orders’ is :

Tell the truth At All Times ~ “Do things in such a way that everyone can see that you are trustworthy.” Romans chapter  12 Verse 17b.

God’s Word also states in James chapter 3 verses 5 thru 9:

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.

The Autism Notebook — 1/18

What do you think? Is your teen/child ‘honest to a fault’?   What are some comments your teen/child has made in public that have made you cringe inwardly or offer an apology to a stranger?  How about some of the comments that you wish you could say but politeness or being politically correct has stopped you?  How do you teach your teen/child when it’s okay to lie and when it’s okay to tell the truth?

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