Archive | February 29, 2012

Adolescence Isn’t Terminal ~ It Just Feels Like It!

Trusted family relationship expert Kevin Leman helps parents navigate the choppy waters of their children‘s teen years with humor and grace. Emotive stories and practical advice give parents hope and encouragement as they guide their children to maturity. Topics include peer pressure, dating, passing on important values to your teen, and more.

Hmmm, looking at the excerpt above probably made you pause and think – WHAT IS SHE DOING NOW?  THIS BOOK WILL NEVER RELATE TO WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH WITH MY TEEN!!  Well reader ~ READ ON!! But BEWARE….You may find out that this book does relate to you and your teenager! 😉

I have been reading this book for the last couple of weeks and man I have found some doozies in here!! Like, Dr. Leman suggests that parents need to do what they say and say what they mean.  Huh?  What do you mean Dr. Leman. ‘Do what I say’?  Well folks, I feel that he’s sharing the obvious.   For example, if you are telling your teen not to watch a specific show on television because your teen mimics and the behaviors portrayed on that show are anti-social.   You then inform your teen that if he watches the show, then he will lose the privilege of watching tv alone for 3 days.  Well, what do you do if you come home and find your teen watching the show anyway?  STICK TO YOUR GUNS!!   No TV watching for your teen for the next 3 days without you watching it with him.  Sound a little crazy to you?  Think about it ladies and gents, this is a way to teach your teen that you mean business!  You are preparing your teen to be as independent as possible, correct?  Since adulthood is right around the corner; maybe not for your teen developmentally; but your teen is still growing up and there is nothing you can do to stop it.   

Yeah he’s growing up but so what? He has Autism so there is so much he can’t do!!!  Huh?  Why not look at the glass half full instead of half empty and focus on the many things your teen with Autism CAN DO?  Autism may be a disability to the world but for your teen Autism can be an asset that helps him see the world in a different way which will then lead him to succeed in places and instances that us typical folks would NEVER think of.  So, when you see your teen blatantly breaking a rule or struggling to obtain a skill help him!  Don’t allow excuses to enter your mind or be verbalized by your teen!  Work through this together to help him deal with the real life consequences his actions occur.  Don’t you want your teen to understand that when you aren’t around and they are given a directive (such as a boss giving them a job description); they are to get the job done as their boss has directed?  I know, I know;  a lot of our teens can’t take what he learns from one environment to another environment; but that shouldn’t stop you from parenting your teen to prepare him for life after you and/or your spouse.   OOPS! 😉  Sorry about that.  Time to get off my soapbox and back to Dr. Leman’s book!LOL

Dr. Leman is blunt and to the point in each chapter.  He shares many stories from his parenting experiences and stories from people he has worked with.  He shares about different types of parenting, such as toxic parents who constantly criticize their teen and nothing their teen does is good enough.  This causes some teens to give up while it makes other teens very angry and rebellious….hmmmm, kinda sounds like what I was sharing when I was on my soapbox, huh? 😉  Yep! Our teens have many diagnoses that state what they can’t do.  Yep!  Our teens are on the Autism Spectrum!  Yep! Our teens struggle constantly with appropriate social skills.  Okay! Since you’ve known this before your child turned into a teen, it’s time to accept it and move on!!  Be the positive parent who believes in their teen and encourages him to be the best he can be.  Encourage your teen with your words and your ability to teach him how to navigate in todays world.  I recommend this book to you because you will definitely find bits and pieces of yours and your teen’s personality embedded in this book.  {If you know nothing about Dr. Kevin Leman, please see below for more information.}

I’d rather see a sermon, than hear one any day.
I’d rather one would walk with me – than merely show the way.
The eye’s a better pupil – more willing than the ear,
Fine counsel is confusing, but example’s always clear.
And the best of all the people are the ones who live their creed,
For to see the good in action is what everybody needs.
I can soon learn how to do it if you’ll let me see it done.
I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run.
The lectures you deliver may be very wise and true—
But I’d rather get my lesson by observing what you do.
For I may misunderstand you, and the high advice you give,
But there’s no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.
Edgar Guest

Let me know what you think after you check this book out!  Your comments are great food a discussion that will help us all!!

HAPPY READING! 🙂      Adolescence Isn't Adolescence Isn’t Terminal (9780842352888): Kevin Leman: Books

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ABOUT DR. KEVIN LEMAN from the Official Website of Dr. Kevin Leman

Kevin Leman, Ph.D., Author, Speaker, Founder & President of Couples of Promise

Bringing valuable contributions to Oprah, CNN and Good Morning America.

Internationally known Christian psychologist, award-winning author and New York Times bestselling author of “Have A New Kid by Friday”, radio and television personality, and speaker, Dr. Kevin Leman has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and common sense psychology.

Kevin Leman, Ph.D., Author, Speaker, Founder & President of Couples of Promise

Bringing valuable contributions to Oprah, CNN and Good Morning America.

A well-known media personality, speaker and columnist, Dr. Kevin Leman has appeared on programs including Oprah, CNN, Good Morning America, CBS’ The Early Show, LIVE with Regis and Kelly, Today and The View. He is a charter faculty member of iQuestions, an online resource where experts provide answers to life’s toughest questions, and the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization he created to help couples remain happily married.

Dr. Kevin Leman’s books on parenting, marriage, family and relationships are a must-have.

Dr. Leman, whose professional affiliations include the American Psychological Association, American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, National Register of Health Services Providers in Psychology, and the North American Society of Adlerian Psychology, earned his Doctorate degree in psychology from the University of Arizona. He lives in Tucson, Arizona, with his wife, Sande, and they have five children.

Dr. Leman is the author of more than 30 books and a dozen audio and DVD video titles. His bestsellers include: The Firstborn Advantage; The Birth Order Book: Why You Are The Way You Are; Have a New Kid by Friday; What Your Childhood Memories Say About You; Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours; Single Parenting That Works!; First Time Mom; What a Difference a Daddy Makes.

Dr. Leman has published a number of bestselling books on marriage, sex and intimacy, includingSheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage; Sex Begins in the Kitchen; and 7 Things He’ll Never Tell You…But You Need To Know..

His most recent book is Have a New Teenager by Friday.